Tag: christian

You Know Those Days When…

…you get all uppity, railing away at someone’s incompetence/rudeness/unconcern for the time and/or feelings of others, because how dare they inconvenience you, and you’re having quite an enjoyable temper tantrum/pity party when that still small voice says, in some amusement,

“Yeah, because you’re perfect.”

Sigh.

Getting back up, brushing myself off, getting back on my horse. Just not the high one this time.

The Pause That Terrifies

Overall, I’m continuing to make progress on the postpartum anxiety and OCD front. I’ve had problems with anxiety for a long time (though never to this extent), so I knew from the beginning not to expect a linear recovery and to be happy with a predominately upward trend. I just never expected recovery to take so long or for the inevitable dips to be so deep. James turned ten months old a couple days ago and I can’t believe that I’m still not over this. I’m hard on myself a lot; I get frustrated with myself a lot. I’ve always prized the rational mind and its ability to demystify itself: if I’m feeling bad, it’s because I’m doing/thinking this thing or that thing wrong, so if I change that thing, I should feel better, right?

Well. Apparently not always.   Continue reading “The Pause That Terrifies”